How do you look for friendships? What are you looking for? I'm writing a couple of posts with my thoughts…if you missed it, here's the first one.
Friendships and relationships are one in the same. Sometimes I think if we looked at them more similarly we'd figure them out quicker. When a guy and a girl want to "get to know each other" they hang out in groups, take opportunity to chat, phone, and text, put their best foot forward and when their ready…they go on a date. Girl friendships should be same. Let me explain...
1. When you're in a big group and you see someone you admire make a decision that you want to be friends with her. You may not think this is necessary and if you're "supposed" to be friends it'll just happen, but without effort most things don't "just happen." How many friends have you made in the last 5 years? 10 years? It took effort right?
2. Take every opportunity to talk and get to know her in person and through mutual friends. In our Facebook-ing, texting, emailing social media culture we don't take the time to ask real questions and get to know the real person. We just know what they post for the world. It's simple, spend time in person to get to know each other and build friendships. Old school, right?
3. Tell her that you want to be friends and get to know each other better. This one is the best! I love their faces when I say, "I like you…I really want to be your friend!" They are shocked and honored…as they should be! Remember when you were a kid and you walked up to someone and said, "Let's be friends!" and you were? I think the same principle applies now. Women need to hear that you want to be there friend.
4. Plan a group event to get to know each other better. This is safe and easy. Especially if you're trying to get to know a few friends at the same time and you don't have a lot of available time to invest in friendships. Here's some ideas: plan a SWAP, arrange a game night, or even a movie night!
5. Ask to hang out just the two of you (or with husbands and kids) This is the big step! You're making it official. You're investing and pouring into this friendship. It's risky, but worthwhile.
Who are you're Circle of friends - Kindred Spirits? likes on Facebook, clients, people you go to church with, Mom's you share life with, friends of friends, and family members? Yes. potentially. They are out there you just have to find them.
Next time we're going to talk about, "What I want in a friend?" more to come.