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Writing a blog is an interest thing! I have friends who read my words and look at my pictures from here in Minneapolis, MN and all over the world and I may never know them. I received an email from a woman who reads my blog and wanted to take one of my posts a little deeper. As we were writing back and forth I felt like the words of truth we were writing would be a blessing to others reading...whether I know you or not! I am truly touched that people come to my blog and keep coming back...it's amazing! Hi Noemi! My name is Kate and I am on the East Coast.I have been reading your blog for about 1+ years and absolutely LOVE all your beautiful pictures!!! I came across your blog when the sextuplets were born. Maybe this is a very random e-mail, but I have been wanting to ask for sometime... A while back you had a blog that mentioned the order of 'what you are'. I believe it was something like 'I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, photographer ... and in that order'. I think about this a lot, and have a hard time justifying whether or not I am a 'wife' or 'mother' first.  I thought maybe you could help clear my mind by explaining how you came up with the order of the two. I believe that society pushes us to think we should be a mother first, so I believe most people would say mother before wife. But not sure how I feel about it. Thanks for any insight you can provide!!! And keep up the amazing work with your pictures and blog! Thanks, Kate Hi Kate, Thank you so much for your email. It kinda caught me off guard. I love blogging and every once and a while i think about someone like you who doesn't know me and reads my blog...it's mind boggling...and humbling. Here's my thoughts...as you read them know that I believe my identity is complex but, I'm learning to structure/prioritize not to this culture or what demands the most of my attention but, according to the truth of God's word. I am called first to love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength. I am loved by Him. He deserves my love and obedience. Matt is called to love me and i am called love and respect him. I was called to be Matt's wife first. He was my best friend when i married him and if i don't invest and prioritize him i won't know him when our kids are gone. The reality of parenting is that is we raise them to stand on their own and someday leave our home...Matt and I will someday only have each other. If I put my kids first the he gets my left overs (which isn't much) he will know it and we'll grow apart...just look around at most middle aged marriages and you'll know what i mean. But, I believe in marriage because I believe it's a gift from God and worth fighting for. Divorce is a reality cause marriage is hard and people put themselves, their children, their careers and other things before their spouse. I don't do this perfectly...and sometimes embarrassingly badly but, it is a desire of my heart and so I do my best to make things right again. i am a photographer but, at the end of my life what I want written on my grave stone is that I was an amazing wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. Photography is something i love and I'm good at but, not something I want my life to known for...photography doesn't last...relationships do. Your questions are heart felt. i hope you hear my heart in my answers. Feel free to write and ask more questions. i will always reply honestly. Bless you as you figure things out, Noemi Noemi, Thank you thank you! These are such great thoughts! I figured I would probably catch you off guard, which I guess is why it took me so long to ever write that e-mail! Also, just a little more background on myself: I am 25, married 2.5 years, with an 11 month old daughter. Very good stable full time job and a big family. I guess you could say I'm at that turning point in life where now I am a true adult and I have been coming to many realizations about life! I try hard not to let culture or society tell me what is 'the right way to think'. Which I guess it what got me thinking about this to begin with. I think your thoughts are right-on and make so much sense. It is also an eye-opener to me that I need to make an effort to keep my relationships strong. To be honest, it is very easy to get caught up in day to day responsibilities (working full time, preparing food, bottles, packing diaper bags, organizing the house....) that often I find 10pm rolling around and I still have a list of things to do. And then the next day I find myself in the same situation. Lately, it is very rare that I find time in a day to relax and spend time with my husband. And I am finding the time I have for friends is dwindling also. My husband and I have a very good relationship, but often times I find myself running getting stuff done instead of spending quality time to tend to relationships. So thank you very much for sharing your thoughts with me! I think they are a great eye-opener and will really help me try and figure out a good balance between 'taking care of responsibilities' (working, organizing, housework, etc.) and taking time to keep my relationships strong. Thank you and hope you have a wonderful weekend!!! -Kate Kate, I totally agree about day to day things getting the my attention. I've been thinking about this a lot lately - mostly because i've been working around the clock and haven't had a break in well...a long time. We're leaving for a 3 week vacation to South Carolina on Tuesday and one of the things I have on my list to do is write out a schedule for the week based around my priorities for my life. If family is important and I have to make time for them. If my husband is important then how am I going to show him that by my actions and words...kinda the "where the rubber meets the road." i think I rely too much on the fact that people I love should know that I love them and should understand that my life is busy. My life is about to get busier...thriving business and due with my third child in Feb...I'm going to take my vacation and look at next year and create a plan! Putting the things I want to be first in the front and that may mean saying no to business and income but, I'm okay with that. I'll never regret not making enough money like I will not knowing my kids or growing apart from my husband. You know? I wanted to ask you if i could blog portions of our conversation...i think it would be helpful for other moms. Is that okay? Noemi Noemi, Yes, you are welcome to blog about this. I think it is great info for all moms! It really is eye-opening and makes me think about my life. That is a great idea to take time on your vacation to make a plan for your next year. I think maybe I will take some time also to think about my next year and how I would like things to go. I need to make sure I plan to time to see the ones I love while still taking care of my day-to-day responsibilities. I think I will be able to find a good balance if I make the effort. I really think your explanation of how when the kids are grown and start their own families, it will only be my husband and I. We can not lose sight of that, and how it really is us two... as my daughter (and future children) will someday have their own family to care for. And also how we need to teach our children to stand on their own and how to keep their realtionships strong.... which would be best done by example and keeping our own relationships strong. Ahhh the complexities of life! I guess I never had to put much thought into how to live my life... as when we are young, we live day to day and do not need to plan much. My main priorities were school, which seemed taxing at the time..... but now looking back that was cake compared to life as an 'adult'. Now that I have more responsibilities and a family, I am realizing how important it is to think about the future. I guess in some ways I am scared that I will look back and realize that 'I should have done this' 'I should have done that'. And I guess I want to make sure I am doing all that I can right now to ensure my families future will be all that it can be! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me! And I hope you truly enjoy your vacation! We were in South Carolina (Myrtle Beach) in July and had a blast! Thanks, Kate |